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Real members of myIBSteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

How Do People Manage A Relationship When You Feel Like Crap Most Of The Time

A myIBSteam Member asked a question 💭
Bolton, UK

Look I'm not in a relationship atm but sometimes I feel it would be lovely to find someone just to hold me a say everything will be ok. The sad thing is I'm not sure I could give much back atm. How do you go on when you don't feel great a lot of the time. I don't want to live a lie and pretend everything is ok, I do this enough at work and in front of my friends. Any advice would be appreciated

November 17, 2017
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Answer Summary

Members opened up about navigating relationships and dating while living with IBS, with many sharing that honest communication from the start... Read more

Members opened up about navigating relationships and dating while living with IBS, with many sharing that honest communication from the start and finding a truly understanding partner has been key to maintaining their relationships despite symptoms like frequent bathroom urgency and anxiety about eating out. Several members described practical coping strategies they and their partners have developed, including skipping meals before going out, using panty liners for accidents, locating bathrooms in advance, trying IBguar mint capsules, and pursuing CBT therapy to address the anxiety that often worsens symptoms. A recurring theme was the deep loneliness and social isolation IBS creates, the fear of burdening loved ones or being misunderstood, and the profound gratitude members feel for partners who love them unconditionally through the unpredictable and often embarrassing reality of living with this condition.

A myIBSteam Member

I’m so glad I found this site as I thought I was the only person that felt like this. I’m lucky I have a wonderful caring husband but I feel I hold him back. I would love to be able to eat out more but I get terrible toilet anxiety and as soon as I get anxious my ibs gets worse and so the cycle continues 🙄

October 22, 2018
A myIBSteam Member

My wife has been very understanding...we don't do much anyways.
If I have a flare up and something is going on...she goes without me...lol
I have been very good this last year now being able to not have issues... stopped drinking milk...drink lactose free milk. Stayed away from garlic and onions...learned this combination is bad for people with IBS or any intestinal issues.
People look up garlic and onions and ibs !!!

May 27, 2018
A myIBSteam Member

I hate that I have to discuss the fact that my bowels can control me. People feel if you take a pill it will solve your problem. My husband is very understanding and supports me 100 percent. But most people cannot grasp how much it effects our lives.

February 12, 2019
A myIBSteam Member

Yes, getting worked up or anxious about something will bring it on. like getting stuck in traffic or everyone wanting to go out to eat for birthdays or special occasions....I dread that...I usually dont eat anything (soup or small appetizer) as soon as my thought process says "I hope I dont have to go to the bathroom" it happens in the next 10 min....

January 22, 2019
A myIBSteam Member

Hi Joanne, CBT does help a lot with the anxiety because you will be able to identify you triggers better

October 28, 2018

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